This year marks the year I turn 50. Sounds weird to say that. This first half of the year was what I realize a slight depression for me. Looking back I was feeling very down about the state I was in, both mentally and physically. I believe this to be my true mid-life crisis. I have been finding many ways to get my self out of this funk, but it has been hard. As my teens grow, full of independence, my role as mom is changing. I will forever be their mom, but they aren’t as needy as I would like them to be…I think that is what it comes down to. Then my partner relationship with Trevis is full of ups and downs. As he transitions into retirement, I am full speed ahead at work. I think these are good things, but we are searching for each other again and I am hopeful he finds me and I find him. We are working on it-always. Then my relationship with me. I have lost me. At times I wonder what am I here for, and again I ask what is my purpose. I am thankful for the posts on social media by the writer of Finding Joy. She has created moving words of wisdom that have struck a cord with me, encouraging me to keep up with my writing. Today is a turning point for me because,I again, realize that when in doubt, go outside and then write. And write some more.
As I started to look at my blog and do some redesigning, I noticed some unpublished writing I still had in draft form. This one caught my eye and made me smile! I wrote it when I was 17, and I must have copied it onto this computer from my journal to later publish. I’m impressed with how wise I was back then! Thankful to have found this and looking forward to a better second half of this year as 50 comes up in December!.
Dear Rani,
Some Random thoughts that keep coming to me that I must share with you! Have a cup of tea…chai tea, your favorite, as you read~
So here you are on the cusp of becoming a senior, you last year of high-school! If I have anything to say to you, it is this…..be free of commitments that tie or weigh you down. The world is too big of place to be tied down to anything or anyone right now. Explore and see all that you can, for life will surprise you. After graduation, you will soon be on your way to a London Study program for a semester! Make the most of this experience, for who knows when you will have this opportunity again to see the other side of the world!? I hope you do! But embrace all there is about this journey!
Even though you don’t care for your weight right now, know that you are healthy, playing tennis, on the dance and drill teams and making the most of your last year!
Explore different languages, meet people and attempt to talk to them in their tongue and culture. Always be aware of yourself and surroundings, and don’t explore in fear, but rather in curiosity and care. Take time to keep your healthy habits flowing with activity everyday and hearty, wholesome eating habit-you’ll be happier in the future for this little step of self care.
Don’t give up on your ideals and the goals you set out to do. And know that it’s ok to change your goals, but follow through as much as you can. Keep journals so you have memories in your written word to look back to.
Realize that anger can be controlled and that having a clear, calm and steady voice will help you overcome your fears.
Don’t settle for less than what you believe. Hold true to your ideals and faith and be strong to your convictions.
The life ahead of you will be full and happy, but also trying and poignant. Cherish every minute of it! Above all, practice the art of gratitude and giving. Find ways to help others in need; whether it be a small way or a grand statement…help others. Be thankful for your unique nature for there is only one of you in the world! Be thankful for where you came from, where you are, and where you may be going.
In Love and In Like forever…..
Me
ps.-don’t underestimate the power of the written word, computers and technology will be your friend, but don’t be slave to them, go outside often and drink lots of water!
Om She Said 