Learning my lesson….

Sometimes I wonder, what am I doing as a parent? Am I really cut out for this…the hardest job ever. It really is hard. I’m mama to two healthy girls, yet I sometimes wonder how they are doing emotionally as a result of my lack of knowledge.

This morning while walking the girls to school, I said my goodbyes, knowing I had a 9am yoga class to make. I let them know earlier that I won’t be able to stay for am recess before school begins. I said good bye to Isa, and then walked Tamra the rest of the way to the black top so she could play. She asked me if I could play handball with her. I should have just simply reminded her that I had a class to go to, but instead I made a less than desirable motion with my shoulders and shrugged, which basically said without words, “don’t you remember what we talked about this morning?” She right away turned back from me and said, never mind.  I did say goodbye to her with a kiss and hug and watched for a minute or two before walking back home. Half way home on the walk, tears came up as I wished I could go back……take back that stupid shrug that didn’t make her feel so good and just have explained. I want them to explain things to me, so why couldn’t I have just explained things to her?  ARGH!

It’s a struggle..finding time…making that time quality….trying to teach them and show them the right things to do….show myself the right things to… emulate the behavior I come to expect.

I know deep down inside all they want is our time. The things are a nice surprise, but the time is what counts. I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t always make use of that time for quality….and I have a to do list that I need to just burn…in fact I will! But realizing that the time I do have with them is important and precious. Making use with time together, staying off the computer, and the to do list…..sitting with them, talking with them, helping, and showing. Maybe I think about things to much……I know I do. I know I’m not alone in this.

It had been two weeks since I last went to yoga…and after attending, I felt more at peace…trying to breathe in the constant of intention with the words gentle and present. Giving my breathe to allow me to be gentle in my words and thoughts. Giving my breathe to be present in what ever I was doing in the moment.

I came home to an empty home, but went in to the girls room, and started cleaning. NOt so much cleaning, but more organizing, so their room would be a bit better to be in. And even though I had asked them to do this many times over, I just wanted to be among their things, helping. My goal in writing this is to remind myself to be gentle with my thoughts…be present with my time…and live a life that is simple with these simple words.  It can be harder than one thinks…but can also be done. Be gentle with yourself and be present. Let me know how you are doing.


March Mindful Mama Carnival, MIndful

Mindful playing with my Daughters.

Welcome to the March Mindful Mama Carnival: Mindful Mama Challenge

This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participants have challenges they’ve set for themselves toward becoming more mindful. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


The challenge is this: Bring myself closer to a more mindful center. Considering this is why I started this particular blog….with the intention for creating a space for me to share what I find…The Mindful Mama Blog Carnival couldn’t have come at a better time. I suppose it’s karma, and I like it!

As a mama to two growing girls, I hope I am doing all the right things; providing them a safe environment,, feeding them healthy foods, allowing their spirits to grow, and curiosity to wander. With all my musings for learning, finding myself, doing this or doing that, what I am figuring out is when it comes down to what my girls really want…it’s not the softball and t-ball games, or the endless play-dates we arrange…it’s not the trips to the library or the beach. Of course those things are great, but what it is, what IT really is…they want TIME with me. And not just watching them, in the same house, under the same roof and space, kind of time. It’s the HANDS ON play. It’s what I call, the Mindful Play, kind of time, that they crave.

It all dawned on me when I broke out all the arts and crafts. It was a Friday and had been a long week, but I promised the girls we would get creative. So I laid everything out. And I have ALOT of everything! Arts and crafts galore cause I love it! So, there it all is laid out and I show them the basics: washing brushes inbetween colors, using different strokes, blending, etc. Then I got the brilliant idea that while they start that, I could get a load of laundry in so I wouldn’t have to worry about it over the weekend, and maybe clean the bathroom too, especially since the girls are occupied. I could get alot of “stuff” done. Well, I kept getting interrupted by the girls asking me questions. By the fourth question I realized…..Ahhh Haaaa. Rani…..stop. Sit down and play….they care about what they are doing, but they want to do what they are doing, WITH me. It’s like it all came to a head and I realized I must be present for them. So I did. I sat down and laughed, played and created with them. It was so simple yet so hard to realize. I was too busy trying to get things done, when what I needed to do was to just do the things that meant the most right in that moment. And that moment now becomes a precious memory that we will never forget! That is my deal behind mindful playing!!!!

There are many ways to by mindful, and one wouldn’t thing the concept of play would need any help. And really it doesn’t. We just need to listen to our kids and by thankful that they want to spend time with us and how precious that really is.

Mindful Mama Carnival


Mindful Mama Carnival -- Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!

On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:


Gratitude-worth another watch…and another….and another…

My word this year is mindful. I think it fits nicely with gratitude. We can do both quite easily, if we just open our mind and hearts to what we find real, passionate, and true.
Try it.
You will be happy you did.

Cool gratitude apps are nice, thank you!